Life happens...It's not an excuse or an attempt to rationalize, it's just a fact.
It's been three weeks since I wrote my last blog post and it is extremely rare for me to go that long without posting something, even if it's just an inspirational quote. But life happened and while I had a lot of thoughts and words running through my head, I just couldn't put them together in a way that made any sense.
I've been through the gamut of emotions these past few weeks and while that sometimes serves as a great incentive to write, in this case I just couldn't do it. The funny thing is I felt really guilty about not writing; I felt like I was letting myself and others who had come to look forward to reading my blog posts down and that still wasn't enough to get me to write!
Sometimes life has a way of forcing us to do things that we don't want or think we may be able to do. That was true for me 13 months ago when I decided to start my own business after leaving my corporate job of 10 years; it was something that I had thought about for a very long time but didn't think I could do, but here I am and business is going well. Now my blog posts have started to bring attention my way and I think that part of me was afraid of what that attention would mean.
I have always loved to write and now my writing is starting to bring me some attention and that is scary. Would this mean that I would be able to pursue one of my dreams of being able to write for a living? Now that people are paying attention how do I keep their attention? How do I stay motivated, what do I do when I don't want to write?
These questions started getting louder and louder in my head and while I don't have people beating down my door for my writing (yet), I do feel that I am on the brink of something very special and I'm not ashamed to admit that thought is a little unnerving. You know that old saying 'be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it?', well it's true. I've always wanted to write, now I am and people are starting to pay attention, so my mind is saying 'now what are you going to do?'
The positive in this is that this is a good fear. It's a fear that tells me that I'm doing the right thing, I'm on the right track, and I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing to fulfill my dream. It takes courage to write, to share your thoughts, ideas and feelings with others and when you start to connect and build an audience with your words, it's an amazing feeling and one that I want to continue experiencing.
I realize that I needed those three weeks to deal with those thoughts in my head, appreciate and accept them for what they were: motivation, and continue moving forward doing what I love!
